I Heart Adoption Blog - Latest Comments

Re: Dealing with Teenage Pregnancy

Cheryl — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:16:47 -0000

(And I'm actually not really joking. She's struggled financially, but she's doing a wonderful job raising her daughter.)

Re: Dealing with Teenage Pregnancy

Cheryl — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:12:08 -0000

An 18-year-old friend of ours got pregnant last year--she wanted to parent, but then kind of panicked that she wasn't ready. I did my best to talk to her about all her options; I knew she was a strong-minded person and would make the choice that was best for her. Today she's a great mom to a five-month-old. I always joke that when my partner and I adopt, we'll turn to her for parenting advice. :-)

Re: Mrs. Alabama International 2011, Lynn Maggio, Endorses the Independent Adoption Center

jimmychoo110 — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 21:48:04 -0000

http://www.drdrebeatzcheap.com
http://www.drdrebeatzcheap.comhttp://www.drdrebeatzcheap.com

Re: IAC to Attend Teen NOW California Conferences

iheartadoption — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 14:58:30 -0000

Hi Guest! We believe in the same 3 R's TeenNow promotes: Rights, Respect, and Responsibility. At the Independent Adoption Center, we help pregnant women to understand their rights, respect their choices (whether or not that choice is adoption), and to provide the education that makes responsible decisions possible.

We believe open adoption does support young families, and research backs up this belief. Reactive Attachment Disorder is caused by neglect and abuse, it is not caused by adoption.

Re: IAC to Attend Teen NOW California Conferences

Guest11 — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 11:05:56 -0000

I thought that Org. was about preventing pregnancies, and supporting young families (as in keeping their babies).
Open adoption is not that great, it still means life long trauma for mothers and their placed children, adoptive families often suffer too. Do you ever mention the possibility of Reactive Attachment Disorder to hopeful parents?

Re: Video: “Invisible Mother” by Jeni Steeber

Ann Wrixon — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 18:37:15 -0000

This woman is so articulate. She is amazing. This is one of the best short descriptions of why she placed for adoption, and about her central role in her birth daughter's life.

Re: Mrs. Alabama International 2011, Lynn Maggio, Endorses the Independent Adoption Center

Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 17:43:44 -0000

What a great story! Best of luck to Lynn in her upcoming competition:)

Re: Mrs. Alabama International 2011, Lynn Maggio, Endorses the Independent Adoption Center

Jen — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 08:54:31 -0000

Neat story! It's wonderful that Lynn is highlighting the IAC and also helping women with unplanned pregnancies. Good luck in the competition!

Re: How will I feel at the Hospital?

Shari — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 00:28:21 -0000

Our hospital experience was amazing! The hospital only allowed moms to stay overnight, so it was just me (adopting mom) and N (birthmom). We had beds in the same room and took care of Soren together all night. I was in awe of everything N had done and was doing to make sure Soren was perfectly healthy, and I think she was able to trust that I could be trusted to take over that responsibility. We became great friends and talk, text, or email at least once a week about everything that is going on in Soren's life.

It was hard to leave, knowing N was going home without Soren for the first time in 9 months, so we made sure to have a plan for our first visit before we left. We never want N to have to wonder or worry about him! The other day she texted me that "this turned out so perfect", and I couldn't agree more!

Sending hope and blessings to all those out there facing difficult decisions for you and your baby, and to those waiting patiently to become parents. May you all find peace and happiness!

Re: Birthmother’s Day and Other Important Days

Ann Wrixon — Wed, 11 May 2011 13:46:07 -0000

Hi Zoe,

I am sorry to hear about this. Your agency should be able to help you. Please call them. If you are an IAC alumni, please email me at: awrixon@adoptionhelp.org. You can also call me at 925-827-2229 x 101
.

Best, Ann

Re: Birthmother’s Day and Other Important Days

zoe — Wed, 11 May 2011 02:02:58 -0000

I gave my baby to a couple in early december of 2010. I had been having problems with the adoption from the beginning but today was the worst. I did NOT get any call, text, e-mail, or card from my adoptive parents or from the agency for birthmothers day or mothers day. That didn't feel right to me so today I texted my adoptive parents and asked if next year if they could contact me in any way (Just to maybe say thank you for bringing this wonderful life to us. I was thinking to myself). But instead they told me that they would not allow my son to recognize me as a mother because they want to be mom and dad. I understand that and have no problem with that but they are two men. There is no mother to take my place in that equation. All I wanted was a call. I wasn't expecting my 5 mouth old baby to get on the phone and demand that he live with me and think of me as his day by day care taker. I called the agency and all they could do was defend my adoptive parents. The agency told me that when an adoptive parent finely gets a child they become so protective of the baby that they do things such as this. I started to laugh and asked if they were protecting my baby from his own mother who has done nothing but care about the well being of my baby. They did not try to help me or show any care as to how I was feeling at all.

After I had given birth my adoptive parents and this agency changed for the worse. I would be lying if I said the adoption agency was here to help me.

"Life is a journey and just like falling in love for the first time we are looking to fink out perfect match that will provide us a child and MOTHER CONNECTION that we will keep forever."
This is a quote from my adoptive parents page. I know that the agency helps write the adoptive parents pages but the mother connection they talked about with me is nothing like the connection I have.

Re: Birthmother’s Day and Other Important Days

Sarah Bryson — Wed, 04 May 2011 19:53:25 -0000

That's really cool Katelyn. Thank you for sharing.

Re: Birthmother’s Day and Other Important Days

Katelyn Krum — Tue, 03 May 2011 20:06:34 -0000

great ideas! My first birth mothers day and mothers day were actually spent with my daughter in the hospital before I placed her into her mothers arms. The days hold a special place in my heart and I hope they do for all birth mothers.

Re: Scholarships for Birthmoms

Mohisn_mirza — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 07:48:02 -0000

Scholarship scam is probably one of the biggest online businesses now

Re: Open Adoption FAQs

Sharon — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 15:05:59 -0000

Thankyou, IAC, for this easy to understand information! I agree with Christine about the importance of openness with adoption and how it can add to a child's self-esteem and feelings of security. This is important to me, and I look forward to developing a relationship with the birthmother and for my future child to also have a relationship with her. Please check out my site for more information about me as a potential adoptive parent. Go to SharonNadine on facebook.

Re: Open Adoption FAQs

Christine Drake — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 17:13:43 -0000

I’m glad that this blog entry answers important questions about adoption and explains open adoption. My husband and I are looking to adopt and it was very important to us to be part of an open adoption. We were excited to find the IAC. My father was adopted and my brother placed a child for adoption. It was very important to my father to have answers to his questions about why he was placed for adoption and for my brother to know that his daughter was safe and loved by her adoptive couple. I strongly believe that openness between the birthmom, adoptive family, and child will help to create happier and healthier relationships for everyone involved. If you want more information about me and my husband, please visit: http://www.iheartadoption.org/... or www.candm-adopt.com.

Re: Top Ten Reasons to Heart Open Adoption

Barbara_crawford17 — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 12:45:33 -0000

that is complete true

Re: Choosing the Right Parents

Eternal Adoptions — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 12:56:04 -0000

Everything in life is not in "black" or "white." From children, we have been taught to look at so many aspects of life as definitives, when in fact, things aren't always that simple or clear cut. We are fortunate to live in a country where people are not forced to limit the number of children to one or none. We have a great amount of freedom and liberties that we enjoy in America. We live in a country where not only is everything not simply in terms of "black" or "white," the people that live here are a testament to our country's great diversity, opportunities, and options.

The same holds true with regard to pregnancy. For far too long, we have been made to feel that there are only two options for women when they become pregnant...that they can only have one of two views. Either your perspective is Pro-life or Pro-choice...that's it. Pick a side and stick with it. But, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Re: Top Ten Reasons to Heart Open Adoption

Bryan — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 15:12:41 -0000

Open adoption is the best choice for a healthy, balanced life for the adoptee and all who surround them. # 1 is the main reason we do this- adoption must be child centered so they receive an abundance of love. Open adoption has changed and is bettering my life. I am a biological father involved in such, and I am proud of and love everyone in my son's life. Be informed. Do what is best for the child and yourself.

Re: Choosing the Right Parents

Eternal Adoptions — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 12:57:16 -0000

Chances are that as you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and some life-altering decisions, you may also be facing a little bit of loneliness. Quite possibly you may be facing a lot of loneliness. Add in the constant flux of hormones and you may find yourself feeling as though you’re the only person in the world going through any of this craziness.

If you are a teenager or a woman in your early twenties, you may have found that your pregnancy announcement was not met with balloons, flowers or cards by your closest of friends. Some of them may have told you congratulations (though none of mine did) and been excited at the prospect of a baby. However, as your belly begins to grow and you deal with things like morning sickness, doctor’s visits and swollen ankles, your friends may slowly begin to disappear. While your worries are a long list of difficult decisions like who will parent this baby, how you will find a job and whether or not you want a natural birth, your friends may be busy still discussing things like the latest party, newest trend or who-likes-who. Even the best of friendships take a hit when you have nothing to relate to, feeling that the other person simply can’t understand what you’re dealing with at any given time.

Re: Open Adoption Has Changed Me

Kimberly — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 23:07:41 -0000

I could not have said it better myself, Tai. Beautifully written!

Re: How will I feel at the Hospital?

Cindy — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 17:07:32 -0000

I was so forunate that I got to 'move in' with my baby's adoptive parents for a good number of weeks (as they wanted me to give birth in their state) and it was the best thing for me, and maybe them as well. We got to live under one roof and got to know each other so well in that time. Any doubt or hesitation I had then vanished once I spent so much time with them.
In the hospital, they were in the labor room with me; as soon as Amy came out and the Dr. put her on my belly, the adoptive mom got to cut the cord, and we were all crying. Then they got their own hospital room, and since I truly wanted my baby to start bonding with her new mom and dad, I allowed them to take over. They had Amy with them in their hospital room across the hall from my room, and I only held her one night for about 20 minutes.

As I look back, I am not sure if I made the best decision not to spend more time with her. I felt strongly I did not want to bond with her, and then have second thoughts and I wanted to protect my heart from further pain or feelings of loss.
Anyway, it is of my opinion that an open adoption is the way to go!